tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-123110752024-03-20T22:23:03.179-04:00Talking to MyselfI would love to give you a wonderfully witty description of myself and my life. But I think you will garner all you need to know from my entries and if you are dying to know more, ask and I promise I will answer.jenbeautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07304789117482763021noreply@blogger.comBlogger109125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12311075.post-78396810732921912622023-07-24T15:03:00.000-04:002023-07-24T15:03:05.423-04:00Falls and Pushing Through<p> Its a new month and I am back. We have been busy traveling, boating and just trying to relax. My Dad had a fall and was in the hospital and now rehab. This has been unexpected and unfortunate for Dad. I had spent the last 2 years focused on my Mom and her health that I took for granted that my Dad was "fine". </p><p>As soon as we became empty nesters we had to take on my parents. Its difficult on so many levels including financial issues. My parents did not take care of their personal business during my entire life. Its tough to relive hurtful memories, being frightened about money, making sure every one, including myself is taken care of. There has been no break as far as care giving duties go. Both my husband and I take that burden on and it can be a strain for us both. </p><p>I am still angry. I am once again feeling negative. I would never have thought trying to be happy could be so hard and tiring. I am so very tired. So here I am left with just pushing through the daily grind. </p>jenbeautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07304789117482763021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12311075.post-47030789175742843142023-06-07T15:15:00.000-04:002023-06-07T15:15:27.957-04:00Blogging againIts been a very long time since I last wrote anything of significance. Life sure did get crazy when I was last here, writing, blogging. I made so many mistakes in my 40s. I lost myself, I lost time with my family and worst of all I hurt my husband. We have since worked through all of the hurt and anger. We try to be okay on a daily basis but sometimes the tricky past seeps into our memory. <div><br /></div><div>My mother passed early this year and it triggered so many emotions for me. Actually, moving mom to our City so we could care for her prompted a whole host of memories and feelings. I didn't want to acknowledge any feelings over the last year and a half. After mom's service in March, I decided I was not going to hold onto my own hurt, anger and guilt about anything from the past. I had been doing fairly well in dealing with sadness and guilt for a time. However, I have been very angry the last few weeks. It may be my age and being in a different season of life. Or its that I do not want to deal with other people's problems and issues. </div><div><br /></div><div>I take a lot to heart and am sensitive, I just don't show it. I can be harsh to family and friends. Hard truths are difficult for everyone to swallow at times. I try to be sensitive to others but others are not sensitive to me. I have quite a few friends that are very needy, self centered and don't even realize it! Sure, we all get that way from time to time but you need to be self aware and realize when you are really hurting those around you. I think I will save that thought for another day when I am not reacting in anger. </div><div><br /></div><div>This writing may be all over the place today because I am feeling the need to get these thoughts out of my head. Writing was therapeutic for me years ago and helped me to get perspective about situations. So maybe this post should have been titled "Anger".
Talking to myself does help, so I am back blogging and talking to the ether or whoever happens by. I may still be angry tomorrow but I will continue to write and find some joy.</div>jenbeautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07304789117482763021noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12311075.post-12165036682588059042008-12-22T13:33:00.002-05:002008-12-22T13:34:18.308-05:00Its been a long time!!!Hello in blogger world! Its been a very long time since I checked in, read, posted, stayed in touch. Life has been very busy and moving forward.<br /><br />I hope this posting finds everyone well, hopefull and ready for another year of living.<br /><br />Take care and Merry Christmas!<br /><br />Jenjenbeautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07304789117482763021noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12311075.post-28720917664577342002007-10-23T12:01:00.000-04:002007-10-23T12:09:57.030-04:00FallGoodness how time flies by!! I am alive and doing okay. I have been so busy with the kids activities this school year and work that I have barely made time for anything else. <br /><br />I am so very proud of both children. Daughter is in the Chose to Lead program and has her first after school meeting today. Two fifth graders from each class get chosen and help with all the school functions and fund raisers with the teachers and other staff. She is also in the Student Partners Program which buddies up a fifth grader with a special needs student. Daughter had to fill out an application, have her parents write a recomendation, her teacher write a recomendation and she had to write up a semi-resume as well. I am so glad she was chosen for this. Daughter has also been playing Volleyball and started band playing the alto sax! See so busy my head spins as I type this.<br /><br />Dear son...he is doing great in kindergarten and is really loving schoool. He has been playing flag football and can't wait to start swimming lessons and baseball camp this winter. He loves being around his sister but is making lots of his own friends. Its amazing to witness the changes in him. <br /><br />As for me....the kids are keeping me busy so that is enough for the moment. I am still a confused lady but trying to be happier in general and not look at the past if I can help it. I can't change the past only look at today and tomorrow. I am going to try and make some rounds here today...catch up with my internet friends...you are the ones that always seem to give me the brighter lift!jenbeautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07304789117482763021noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12311075.post-36805866319214261482007-08-22T12:12:00.000-04:002007-08-22T12:16:28.418-04:00Kindergarten!!Well my baby's first day of kindergarten was today! It is a dreary rainy day here in Columbus, Ohio. But that did not dampen my son's mood. Mitchell was so excited this morning he did not care that mommy forgot to buy him a boy umbrella so he just used the blue and white polka dotted one!<br /><br />I can't wait for the end of the day to hear about both J and M's first day back to school. J is a 5th grader this year. It is amazing to me how beautiful she looked this morning. They are growing up so fast but I am so happy that I am making time every day to cherish them in their childhood moments, storing those memories for a far off rainy day of my own.jenbeautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07304789117482763021noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12311075.post-5425510572669824352007-08-20T12:59:00.000-04:002007-08-20T13:02:37.979-04:00A game!! Come on....play along!!Things I have learned from movies... THE GAME PART IS TO PLACE WHICH MOVIE APPLIES BEST TO EACH NUMBER....ready set go!<br /><br />1. Large, loft-style apartments in New York City are well within the price range of most people whether they are employed or not.<br /><br />2. At least one of a pair of identical twins is born evil.<br /><br />3. Should you decide to defuse a bomb, don't worry which wire to cut. You will always choose the right one.<br /><br />4. Most laptop computers are powerful enough to override communications system of any invading alien society.<br /><br />5. It does not matter if you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts - your enemies will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around in a threatening manner until you have knocked out their predecessors.<br /><br />6. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in your bedroom will still be clearly visible, just slightly bluish.<br /><br />7. If you are blonde and pretty, it is possible to become a world expert on nuclear fission at the age of 22.<br /><br />8. Honest and hard working policemen are traditionally gunned down three days before their retirement.9. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their archenemies using complicated machinery involving fuses, pulley systems, deadly gasses, lasers, and man-eating sharks, which will allow their captives at least 20 minutes to escape.<br /><br />10. During all police investigations, it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.<br /><br />11. All beds have special L-shaped cover sheets that reach up to the armpit level on a woman but only to waist level on the man lying beside her.12. All grocery shopping bags contain at least one stick of French bread.<br /><br />13. It's easy for anyone to land a plane providing there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.<br /><br />14. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off even while scuba diving.<br /><br />15. You're very likely to survive any battle in any war unless you make the mistake of showing someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.<br /><br />16. When they are alone, all foreign military officers prefer to speak to each other in English.<br /><br />17. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window in Paris.<br /><br />18. A man will show no pain while taking the most ferocious beating but will whine when a woman tries to clean his wounds.<br /><br />19. If a large pane of glass is visible, someone will be thrown through it before long.<br /><br />20. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises in their most revealing underwear.<br /><br />21. Word processors never display a cursor on screen, but will always say: "Enter Password Now".<br /><br />22. Even when driving down a perfectly straight road, it is necessary to turn the steering wheel vigorously from left to right every few moments. Tires will squeal on any surface, at any speed.<br /><br />23. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red readouts so you know exactly when they're going to go off.<br /><br />24. A detective can only solve a case once he has been suspended from duty.<br /><br />25. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you meet will know all the steps.<br /><br />26. Police departments give their officers personality tests to make sure they are deliberately assigned a partner who is their total opposite.<br /><br />Have fun!!jenbeautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07304789117482763021noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12311075.post-7931962070588464212007-08-02T12:13:00.000-04:002007-08-02T12:19:06.314-04:00Hello, is anybody out there?!I am here, I am reading, lurking, relaxing, whatever you would like to call it. I am not commenting too much but know that I am reading many of your blogs. <br /><br />The summer is dragging by but I am starting to feel a peace with myself as time rolls on. Maybe when things start to slow down a little in the fall I can get back to being my silly self and writing about being a Rock Star, the great things my kids that day or even my jump into an altogether new career. <br /><br />The past year and half is going to be put into a box in my heart and mind, to be brought out on occassion. Its so cliche to say this, but I am re-discovering myself and what I want in this life. Work harder, be remembered well. There is a time, a place, a reason for everything and everyone you encounter. Take it all in and be happy, suck it up, write about it, live it. As long as at the end of the day you can sleep.<br /><br />Have a good end of the summer everyone and I hope to be back soon spreading some silliness!jenbeautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07304789117482763021noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12311075.post-44685287853196988772007-07-24T11:15:00.000-04:002007-07-24T11:16:49.451-04:00Struggling to swimAmazing insight from an incredible Myspace Blogger.<br /><br />Go read some of his stuff.....<br /><br /><a href="http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=64817099&blogID=291181867&indicate=1">http://blog.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=blog.view&friendID=64817099&blogID=291181867&indicate=1</a>jenbeautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07304789117482763021noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12311075.post-59891562107436902142007-07-05T11:31:00.000-04:002007-07-05T11:36:54.725-04:00July 4th and Having some fun!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioPrsMFD2vnsug1jqhB-5FOmiV13XyBqQqM_UICobs1BqCWpydCHSWeFIJ6-K1wOxVLdgkF64l767OcD1ch7D5YU55ji3lTZCwj3blgPPCJ7rQDVFrO7YPwQQCBVRbAH72Yf94jg/s1600-h/family+boat+July+3.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5083736678809270178" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioPrsMFD2vnsug1jqhB-5FOmiV13XyBqQqM_UICobs1BqCWpydCHSWeFIJ6-K1wOxVLdgkF64l767OcD1ch7D5YU55ji3lTZCwj3blgPPCJ7rQDVFrO7YPwQQCBVRbAH72Yf94jg/s320/family+boat+July+3.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnrOv26Afdf19M-DRJbNVpDppG4tlejYXTHsz3mE8EPWDnQBxs3arQbWfQ4xVayzrsGZUyp1qf5xC3DvPYYnpruhssAMe0g7g6T4IFqOnrRB5c5oxfaGX3-f403JWRbXV7_7vOAA/s1600-h/Chris&Kids+boat+July+3.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5083736545665283986" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnrOv26Afdf19M-DRJbNVpDppG4tlejYXTHsz3mE8EPWDnQBxs3arQbWfQ4xVayzrsGZUyp1qf5xC3DvPYYnpruhssAMe0g7g6T4IFqOnrRB5c5oxfaGX3-f403JWRbXV7_7vOAA/s320/Chris&Kids+boat+July+3.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><div><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7KFtIWesh-vX_7ZsKxujpVtWXub4ofDXGuo0lSiVNbi7g3AuXDZqXaRe7x__ySHXqLYgy-RN2w0VsTJU8XODs3PsvwgoznoSyqupeINLU-m-yybvMC7Or8s1KcDJWuD5FVv52Kw/s1600-h/Jill&Mitch+July+3+boat.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5083736446881036162" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7KFtIWesh-vX_7ZsKxujpVtWXub4ofDXGuo0lSiVNbi7g3AuXDZqXaRe7x__ySHXqLYgy-RN2w0VsTJU8XODs3PsvwgoznoSyqupeINLU-m-yybvMC7Or8s1KcDJWuD5FVv52Kw/s320/Jill&Mitch+July+3+boat.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br /><div>Life does move forward and I have learned twice over how to appreciate the loved ones we have. My family enjoying the boat, wave runners and then the fireworks. It was great to put life away for awhile. I hope everyone had a safe and fun holiday!</div><br /><br /><br /><div></div><br /><br /><br /><div></div></div></div>jenbeautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07304789117482763021noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12311075.post-55928006529968433062007-06-27T16:02:00.000-04:002007-06-27T16:07:40.291-04:00Mother MaryWhen I find myself in times of trouble<br />Mother Mary comes to me<br />Speaking words of wisdom Let it be<br />And in my hour of darkness<br />She is standing right it front of me<br />Speaking words of wisdom Let it be<br /><br />Let it be, let it be<br />Let it be, let it be<br /><br />Whisper words of wisdom<br />Let it be<br /><br />And when the broken hearted people<br /> Living in the world agree<br />There will be an answer<br />Let it be<br /><br />For though they may be parted there is<br />still a chance that they will see<br />There will be an answer Let it be<br /><br />Let it be, let it be<br />Let it be, let it be yeah,<br />there will be an answer Let it be<br />Let it be, let it be<br />Let it be, let it be<br />Whisper words of wisdom Let it be<br /><br />Let it be, let it be<br />Let it be, let it be<br />Whisper words of wisdom Let it be<br /><br />And when the night is cloudy<br />There is still a light that shines on me<br />Shine until tomorrow<br />Let it be<br /><br />I wake up to the sound of music<br />Mother Mary comes to me<br />Speaking words of wisdom<br />Let it be<br /><br />Let it be, let it be<br />Let it be, let it be<br />There will be an answer Let it be<br /><br />Let it be, let it be<br />Let it be, let it be<br />There will be an answer<br />Let it be<br /><br />Let it be, let it be<br />Whisper words of wisdom<br />Let it be, let it bejenbeautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07304789117482763021noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12311075.post-29250342171245729362007-05-22T11:51:00.000-04:002007-05-23T12:49:29.908-04:00I have been tagged!! EIGHT RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME....1. I hate tomatos, yet I can eat brushetta, a little tomato sauce, pizza etc. Its weird, just plain tomatos taste horrible to me!<br /><br /><br />2. I am an only child. I have debated throughout my life whether or not its been a good thing. I believe I may have missed out on having a sibling but also believe that being an only child helped shape who I am and the kind of person I became.<br /><br /><br />3. I have lost 20 lbs. since September 2006 and have managed to maintain my current weight during that time. I want to lose an additional 10 lbs. so I will be at my freshman year of college weight. I am satisfied with where I am but want to feel healthier.<br /><br /><br />4. I had 5 surgeries on my right leg due to an achillis tendon tear. One of the worst periods of my life. It lead to a lot of introspection and questioning of how we are living our lives.<br /><br /><br />5. I have been known to read smutty books or stories!! shhhhhh<br /><br />6. I cry at almost any sad story, commercial, book, etc.<br /><br />7. I love Christmas and shopping for presents. I wish I had the money to buy everyone I know a present I know they would enjoy!<br /><br />8. I can still rollar skate!!<br /><br />I suppose this is the part where I am supposed to tag some people......how about weltek cheesehead, slharris, and kimmah....don't worry kids if it takes forever!!jenbeautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07304789117482763021noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12311075.post-72809978811468480752007-05-02T13:00:00.000-04:002007-05-03T10:50:52.065-04:00Arrested!!Mario needs to slow down, koko has a lead foot, the police love me!! giggles....and on with the story.....<br /><br />Last Friday morning I was late for work, day dreaming about Tim Horton's and I think sex, and was not paying much attention to my speed. Until I spotted the Columbus Freeway Patrol car, look down at the speedometer and see that I am cruising along at 80 mph! Oh shit was my out loud thought and decided to pull over. The Police did not even have to put on their lights, I just knew I was caught, no way to fight this one.<br /><br />See Dear Officer Venrick (DOV from here on out) walks up does his little speech about did I know why he pulled me over etc. I told him yes and that I was off in la la land and that my vehicle never feels like I am really going that fast. I figured the truth could not be any worse than a lie I could come up with. DOV smiles and says well its your lucky day then because I am on a training excercise and have 3 recruits with me. ! I am thinking YES.....as the recruit is walking up to the vehicle. So we go through the speech again, I hand the recruit my license, insurance and registration information. They say they will be right back, even though we all know this takes at least 10 minutes.<br /><br />My 10 minutes pass on by and DOV comes back to my vehicle and says "I HAVE SOME BAD NEWS!" I am a little bit surprised which turns to shock when his next statement is "THERE IS A WARRANT OUT FOR YOUR ARREST!" I literally did the Home Alone face and was stuttering wha wha what?! DOV then states "oh there is more....your license is expired!" Now I am thinking "oh my god" and ask DOV "am I going to be arrested?" At this point I am thinking wait wait, I told DOV that I did have 2 tickets in the fall in Pike County but I paid those promptly back in November. DOV was actually being very kind, I mean come on....middle aged mom in a SUV with juice bags, stuffed animals and toy cars all over the place, not too mention how cute I looked that day, how could DOV resist!! Anyway, DOV states that they are going to check and make sure that the warrant is still valid and that more than likely no arrest will be made.<br /><br />At this point I am in panic mode. I call my office and speak to the young attorney, Brian, to let him know the situation. He makes a call to a buddy that takes care of traffic court violations and says he can meet me at the courthouse if needed. After I speak with Brian I call my husband who proceeds to ask me what I am wearing, I tell him and hubby replies "you are gonna look good as a jail bird with all those ladies up in the courthouse!" So that really gets me giggling. I was going to have one of two emotions. Either cry and panic or laugh at myself and the situation. I chose laughter!<br /><br />P.S. More to come.....you know my stories can never end with one telling!jenbeautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07304789117482763021noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12311075.post-77157960619127174392007-04-15T20:12:00.000-04:002007-04-15T20:14:58.006-04:00My 40th Birthday!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhltksfEolDNBzDgZHC-yfntNE9tviq0XWjjyb1VHRLfB3GoFgLKIU_YBVsMivTYkgcNL1p15n7EYZEB64XqpwV_n58eFm8IRHEye68O_UFZ9iR3H2KUYEeAfSGRBUsMdRXpip91Q/s1600-h/kids+and+me.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhltksfEolDNBzDgZHC-yfntNE9tviq0XWjjyb1VHRLfB3GoFgLKIU_YBVsMivTYkgcNL1p15n7EYZEB64XqpwV_n58eFm8IRHEye68O_UFZ9iR3H2KUYEeAfSGRBUsMdRXpip91Q/s320/kids+and+me.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5053812771209448594" border="0" /></a><br />Last month on March 24 I started a new decade of my life. I really had a great time and my husband went all out to make sure my little party was a surprise. I have many pictures from that night and am trying to decide which ones to post. LOL.....it was truly a great time and the most fun I have had in quite some time. I am sharing another pic of the kids and I. The helped plan the party and had such a great time helping with that.jenbeautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07304789117482763021noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12311075.post-8124863736176573022007-04-11T10:45:00.000-04:002007-04-11T10:52:20.656-04:00A taste of Spring!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp67iBeqqLCOJPRlT9J0PmUKTvTdmTMbsvUDby8xxOXy0RT1c8Qln1BampRjwwoM4cq8axJvDIPSkkxNTywKO4Ss4DPPlViamoV4NylQmn3jQiNMZ-xNoJsiVlF-_Ch0WS2fLKsg/s1600-h/Mitchell.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5052182886955191426" style="CURSOR: hand" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgp67iBeqqLCOJPRlT9J0PmUKTvTdmTMbsvUDby8xxOXy0RT1c8Qln1BampRjwwoM4cq8axJvDIPSkkxNTywKO4Ss4DPPlViamoV4NylQmn3jQiNMZ-xNoJsiVlF-_Ch0WS2fLKsg/s320/Mitchell.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>Finally had a bit of nicer weather yesterday with the temps hitting 50 degrees and the sun peeking out us now and again. The weather in Ohio is such a pleasure, going from 70 on Tuesday to freezing rain and snow on Thursday. I was NOT dreaming of a white Easter thank you!</div><br /><div></div><div>So our taste of spring yesterday was enjoyable not only because of the little warmth we received but because it is the start of our son's baseball career! Yesterday was Mitchell's first T-Ball practice and he was soooooo excited! His excitment and smiles were infectious and I could not help but have fun with him. His team is the Yankees (my dad's favorite) and they received their hats and shirts. Here is a pic for your viewing pleasure! (scary I am, now that I can get pics to upload LOL)!!</div><br /><div></div><br /><div>Hope everyone is having a great week!</div><br /><div></div><br /><div></div>jenbeautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07304789117482763021noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12311075.post-34732120727355251932007-03-30T19:31:00.000-04:002007-03-30T19:34:29.270-04:00Another picture!!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEWOtroI-ehcU1y7tRCAeu9tARH6MG44jlbPhSl_hXHjEJ1t9Fbf35ShzCEN091kBY7eDP_Nu2prx3bfoggFNLUrEi6K1k65r0cKTVxorlw_3P8rP8o5Kx94DznDYk6yCSVELVew/s1600-h/PDSC01392_046.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjEWOtroI-ehcU1y7tRCAeu9tARH6MG44jlbPhSl_hXHjEJ1t9Fbf35ShzCEN091kBY7eDP_Nu2prx3bfoggFNLUrEi6K1k65r0cKTVxorlw_3P8rP8o5Kx94DznDYk6yCSVELVew/s320/PDSC01392_046.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5047864614238422770" border="0" /></a><br />Uh oh....she is getting good at the pictures!! LOL this is my Uncle Joe, the kids and I at Endless Caverns located outside of New Market, VA.jenbeautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07304789117482763021noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12311075.post-9797198600132123312007-03-30T19:17:00.000-04:002007-03-30T19:24:51.029-04:00Look a picture!!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGNuqTZxdIFIYyd1CMl-XkPhN76eGWT3Yfax98E5ZzhKi-1gEwcYfHfo51K8m8Gc7_SSuYzekIqo-YGgDHhxcnamapCAZn5DmqgHC8S1zgpdp4rnW1A5oNxXK0mqkTank-Ffuuew/s1600-h/PDSC01350_007.jpg"><img style="cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgGNuqTZxdIFIYyd1CMl-XkPhN76eGWT3Yfax98E5ZzhKi-1gEwcYfHfo51K8m8Gc7_SSuYzekIqo-YGgDHhxcnamapCAZn5DmqgHC8S1zgpdp4rnW1A5oNxXK0mqkTank-Ffuuew/s320/PDSC01350_007.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5047862204761769698" border="0" /></a><br />My mom, my son and daughter and I at Christmas time!jenbeautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07304789117482763021noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12311075.post-81009561062630236332007-02-26T22:57:00.000-05:002007-02-26T23:08:22.776-05:00I am so cliche...in more ways than one!!I will only discuss two ways in which I was cliche today!! I have been utterly and completely depressed and a bit angry. My son was sick today and I was listening to my "sad songs" while I went to pick up his prescription. I had a feeling of total helplessness and decided to drive around some more while listening to my line up of "getting out the good cry" music.<br /><br />At some point I thought about stopping for a shot of tequila and a beer. Then it occurred to me it would not do me much good to get drunk at 5:00 p.m. on a Monday. I replaced getting drunk with the euphoria of.....thats right....buying new shoes!! I bought 3 new pairs for myself and 1 pair for my daughter! I also purchased a new purse and I tell you what....I got back in the car and put in my Jet CD and listened to "Cold Hard Bitch"! Once I got home I was ready to face everyone in this household to only discover......<br /><br />MY BARE MINERALS MAKEUP had arrived!! After many years of hearing about these products at OT I was sucked in on some infomerical. My daughter and I put in the helpful handy dandy DVD and followed all the steps. I am highly impressed with this product and can't wait to use it again in the morning!!<br /><br />Some days I am glad to be a woman and a bit cliche!!jenbeautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07304789117482763021noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12311075.post-63844085849719946452007-02-23T22:11:00.000-05:002007-02-23T22:14:13.603-05:00A new blog look!!I finally switched over to the "new blogger" through gmail. Not really sure how much has changed, does not seem like much. I like what I changed things to but I am not the greatest at adding touches. I did add a picture I like and will attempt again to get a picture of myself up here. Drives me nuts that I can't figure out these simple things. LOL<br /><br />New look, maybe a new outlook and trying this blog thing more regular again. Hope this post finds everyone well.jenbeautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07304789117482763021noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12311075.post-1170175816108979262007-01-30T11:22:00.000-05:002007-01-30T11:50:16.140-05:00Life...and progressAt this point in time I am still at home with my husband. He has taken a strong interest in attempting to save and work on the marriage. He has gone so far as to sign up for a marriage counseling class online. Hubby has forwarded each workshop/email to me. There are some very interesting and valid points that have been made in reading those emails and I can see us in quite of few of those situations.<br /><br />But it is back to the question of how am I handling it all. I am day by day. There are days that I think what we have in life is worth it and I should make the necessary attempts. The following is a quote from one of these "seminars"...<br /><br /><em>SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous <br />experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You <br />can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it <br />day in and day out. That's why we have the <br />expression "the labor of love." Because it takes <br />time, effort, and energy. And most importantly, <br />it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to <br />make your marriage work.</em><br /><br />Hubby is trying, making a real effort and here I sit feeling sort of angry and resentful. I think I need some counseling to help me get a better grip on what I am feeling. But do I owe it to him, the children and the sake of the marriage to stop feeling mad, depressed and hopeless? I need to step out of my little box and look at myself and realize my life is not so bad. Where do I want to be in 2 years, 5 years, 10 years. <br /><br /><strong>It is good to know that I am not the only person out there that feels these emotions. I truly appreciate the comments and advice. It helps more than any of you know!</strong>jenbeautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07304789117482763021noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12311075.post-1167926013751243002007-01-04T10:41:00.000-05:002007-01-04T10:53:33.793-05:00Happy New Year!!Happy New Year to all my friends that check in on me from time to time. <br /><br />I have been busy with this new job now since I have been here. I am back to that daily stressful grind and it leaves a horrible distaste in my mouth. I think its a new year with some new starts but I have the same old issues plaguing me. The career has not been that easy to change, at all. I came back to what I know best but not sure I care enough about any longer to be the best. I have become lazy and complacent and I really detest that. So I will be striving to just suck it up and be the best at what I do and hope that someone notices and it pays off somewhere, someplace, somehow. <br /><br />My marriage has been in limbo now for over a year. I had tried and tried and when I was ready to throw in the towel, he started making these amazing gestures. Gestures that were never made in the past 16 years. Attempts to keep me and be sincere about it now that he realizes he is on the verge of losing me. I am in the toughest spot I have ever been in. I am not sure if I have it in me to give in and stay or move on and start anew. Everyone I have talked to says that if he is willing to try and the changes he is making are sticking for more than a week then I should give the marriage a chance. <br /><br />I also have come to realize that there is this possibility of there being more than one person out there for each of us. I have attempted to not have outside influences affect my judgment in my marriage. But sometimes it is so hard to not look at that greener grass. Wonder what could be, how would things be different with another person. <br /><br />I can honestly say that the best thing in my life right now is my children. I am putting them first for the most part and trying not to be selfish this year of my midlife worries. I love my children and want them to be happy, so staying and trying in the marriage is what I have been doing the last month. But my heart has not truly been in it. <br /><br />So this blog has come full circle. I believe I named this blog talking to myself partly because that is how my husband used to make me feel. I needed an outlet, a place to vent. Blogging helped me for awhile and I found a wonderful outlet. But here I am back to the same point and beyond when I first started here. I have some decisions to make and hope that I make the correct ones. <br /><br />Boy when I post an update, do I post an update!jenbeautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07304789117482763021noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12311075.post-1163610293317316712006-11-15T11:58:00.000-05:002006-11-15T12:04:53.366-05:00Michigan week!!<a href="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3443/1037/1600/th_FBhelmet.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;" src="http://photos1.blogger.com/blogger/3443/1037/320/th_FBhelmet.jpg" border="0" alt="" /></a><br /><br /><br />GO BUCKS!!!! I am a one of the lucky souls that has tickets for this historical event....well sporting event that is. This is the most anctipated game EVER that I can remember in my life time. I come from a long line of OSU graduates (even though I did not) and not in 103 years has there been a game like this!! The hype, the commentary, the booze!! That is right folks the party starts Friday afternoon at our office and does not stop until I wake up Sunday knowing that OSU has kicked #2's ass and will do so again in the Championship game! (counting chickens and all that....)<br /><br />WOO HOO!!jenbeautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07304789117482763021noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12311075.post-1163009801060750162006-11-08T13:13:00.000-05:002006-11-08T13:16:41.096-05:00Hiatus or something........I like how momma put that about a few of us bloggers. I am the something part....not quite sure what to write about or say. Been going through some life changes and the new job, while I like it, it is keeping me busy. <br /><br />I am so restless and uncomfortable right now. I wish I could make some earnest changes in my personal world but my children are holding me in place. I have not been the best mom lately nor a good daughter. Those things are starting to weigh on my mind. I have let friendships pass and other things fall to the wayside that I enjoy, like this blogging thing. <br /><br />I know I am not perfect but I need to strive to do better in my everyday living. Love more, complain less and be happy.<br /><br />Hope this rambling finds everyone well and healthy!jenbeautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07304789117482763021noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12311075.post-1158241769732315692006-09-14T09:38:00.000-04:002006-09-14T09:57:42.526-04:00Hi I am Jen and I am addicted to.....Crap TV...yes thats right, my summer viewing has consisted of Reality TV. Rock Star-SuperNova, Big Brother AllStars, Project Runway, and some really bad crap that NBC programed with Regis as the host, and even more bad brain deterating garbage that stars Flavor Flav! Sometimes a girl just can't help but look at the train wrecks that frequent "reality tv".<br /><br />My favoriate crap, by far, has been Rock Star. However, I was sorely disappointed last night that SuperNova chose Lucas Rossi as their lead singer. I like him but, like Dave said, I am not so sure I can sit through a 2 hour concert listening to him. I will have to see how he actually sounds on a CD, song after song. Also, Gilbey needs to step up and sing better back up and play better lead guitar if this band wants to have any kind of chance. I think Clarke will be the ego one of this group.<br /><br />Big Brother, ah what to say what to say! Chilltown is the funniest most entertaining contestants to ever play a reality game in the history of reality tv! Brrrrnnggg Brrrrnnnggg....f'in hiliarous and I loved watching Dr. Will play everyone like a well toned violin! Kudos to Will and Mike Boogie for making me smile when I needed brain candy.<br /><br />Now that most of these shows are over we are moving on to Dancing with the Stars. My children love this show and its something we can watch together and enjoy. I am rooting for Emmett Smith. I enjoyed his attitude and was pleasantly surprised by his moves, much better than Jerry Rice from last year.<br /><br />Now my all time favoriate reality junk starts soon....Survivor....woo hoo. Not sure how much of it I will actually watch this year. Times have become busy in our household and my brain cannot handle much more dumbing down after this summer of lack luster programing. <br /><br />With that I leave you with a a quote from Jeff Probst "Fire is life" well at least for some. In my house life has become "Reality TV"!jenbeautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07304789117482763021noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12311075.post-1156273923205715262006-08-22T15:10:00.000-04:002006-08-22T15:12:45.610-04:00Lets talk about sex!Lets talk about sex baby, lets talk about you and me and all the good things....<br /><br />So chat away....opinions, thoughts, getting enough these days? Does your personal life swirl around the thought of sexual encounters or has marriage and young children done away with the intimate moments!<br /><br />LOL I know odd topic for me but just want to see what can be stirred up in my little blog here!jenbeautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07304789117482763021noreply@blogger.com17tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-12311075.post-1152888291311483152006-07-14T10:25:00.000-04:002006-07-14T10:44:52.616-04:00LoveThere are so many different kinds of love. The love of your spouse or signficant other are usually the biggest loves of our lives. The only exception I can make to that is our children. There is your love for your friends and family. Sometimes the love you have for certain members of your family is only a deep caring.<br /><br />Deep loves are so rare. I love my children deeply and I know at one time I loved my husband deeply. How do we get back to that kind of love without being hurt or overtaken by other emotions? Or the day in and day out workings of life? <br /><br />There has been so much more that has been going on in my life in the last year that I am struggling with so many emotions. How do you reconcile hypocritical behavior and not lose yourself? How do you forgive yourself and the persons that you love, because we are afterall just human. Most of us don't intentionally set out to hurt eachother.<br /><br />I have truly tried to understand what goes through a man mind when dealing with a relationship. I have tried to be open and honest but when all that fails where does it leave you? I still feel the love, I can't stop loving. Does that make me a fool?jenbeautyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07304789117482763021noreply@blogger.com16