At this point in time I am still at home with my husband. He has taken a strong interest in attempting to save and work on the marriage. He has gone so far as to sign up for a marriage counseling class online. Hubby has forwarded each workshop/email to me. There are some very interesting and valid points that have been made in reading those emails and I can see us in quite of few of those situations.
But it is back to the question of how am I handling it all. I am day by day. There are days that I think what we have in life is worth it and I should make the necessary attempts. The following is a quote from one of these "seminars"...
SUSTAINING love is not a passive or spontaneous
experience. It'll NEVER just happen to you. You
can't "find" LASTING love. You have to "make" it
day in and day out. That's why we have the
expression "the labor of love." Because it takes
time, effort, and energy. And most importantly,
it takes WISDOM. You have to know WHAT TO DO to
make your marriage work.
Hubby is trying, making a real effort and here I sit feeling sort of angry and resentful. I think I need some counseling to help me get a better grip on what I am feeling. But do I owe it to him, the children and the sake of the marriage to stop feeling mad, depressed and hopeless? I need to step out of my little box and look at myself and realize my life is not so bad. Where do I want to be in 2 years, 5 years, 10 years.
It is good to know that I am not the only person out there that feels these emotions. I truly appreciate the comments and advice. It helps more than any of you know!
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8 comments:
*hugs* I think you are on the right track. You may need to sort out YOU before concentrating on the US part. It worked for Nolay and I. Sure, we still have problems, but his personal feelings and job issues ran deeper than just our relationship.
Even one or two sessions with a counselor may help. If cost is a problem, think about what a sane investment it is. And if you are anywhere near a university, you can sometimes find people that have their degree, but haven't taken the licensing test yet. Good luck. *hugs*
I'm glad to hear that you are hanging on. If he wasn't trying, I would be seriously wondering if it was worth it. Sounds like there is something there, and he definitely knows and appreciates what he has in you.
Kim: thank you for checking in on me. OT has some wonderful people and I am thankful that so many care and take the time to comment.
Scott: Yes he says that he realizes he took me granted for so many years. He says that I am his life and how much he deeply loves me. I know I should try and forget the past and start anew. But part of my love for him has past away. I am having a difficult time finding that place again. I feel though, if I do not give the marriage an honest try, then I may regret it. So I will work on things for the next 6 months. If we cannot come to some kind of resolve and feel better about things, it may be time to face the music.
Aww Jen, I feel for you honey. Hang in there. I think you are right about needing to get some clarity for yourself, everyone needs that.
Well, I have my fingers crossed for you. Maybe you've been hurt real bad and the feelings are buried too deep to feel any more.
I think we all have been through it. I have even blogged a bit concerning recent goings on and the realizations I had about not having true intentions for my life. Check it out and let me know if it opens anything up for you as well.
Big hugs Jen. Nothing of any worth is ever easy- just think of how many people out there who've had everything come easy to them that end up blowing it in the end because they've invested nothing in it. It's hard work, sure, but no doubt worth the effort.
Even IF it's ridiculously cold outside right now!
Peace~
*hugs*
just because
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