December 1992

Everyone I know has had self defining moments. I believe that those moments are not far and few between. We continuously redefine who we are or more to the point redefine ourselves within the context of our relationships.

Writing the little meme the other day triggered a memory of a defining moment. A moment in which I knew I wanted to marry my then boyfriend. We had been together for two years and only had talked of the future in passing knowing that we had plenty of time for planning. We were, afterall, just in our mid 20s.

My boyfriend and I were out on a cold December evening on a typical Friday night date. We went to dinner, a movie and then were headed back to my apartment for the night. I loved my apartment and neighborhood. Victorian Village and the campus of OSU merge together and are crowded with beautiful historical homes. We liked staying at my place on Fridays because Saturday morning walks in the park were a must. The downfall to living in this building was the parking. It was horrendous to find a spot near my building or under good lighting. This Friday night was no exception.

We were later than normal going back to my apartment and had to park a block from my building in an unlighted area. I, being the music lover that I am, insisted we sit in the car to finish listening to a favorite song, something from the 80's, more than likely a song by U2. As we sat there enjoying the moment someone knocked on the driver's window of the car. It took my boyfriend a brief moment to assess what was really happening. Instead of rolling down the window my boyfriend opened the door and stood up to his full height. Later he told me he thought is was a homeless person that needed cash.

As my boyfriend is standing there I am totally bewildered but am the first to realize what is about to happen. I cannot hear the conversation that my boyfriend is having with the unknown person, but I can see the gun that is pointed at his side. I believe it took me 30 seconds to process what I was seeing and knew that my boyfriend did not have a clue about the gun.

My boyfriend was just talking with this intruder as if it were a causal how are you. I finally pulled on my boyfriends jacket and said he has a gun. At that point my boyfriend calmly sits back in the car and asks the man what he wants. I was watching this with a mild detached feeling as though everything was going in slow motion even though my mind was running 60 mph. The man said he just wanted my boyfriend's wallet and he would be on his way. So my boyfriend pulls his wallet from his back pocket, opens it, pulls out $100.00, hands it to the man and then puts his wallet back in his pocket. I was a bit shocked and in awe that my boyfriend would think to do this.

In the next moment the man asks my boyfriend for the keys to the car. My 60 mph mind just came to a skretching halt. I can still remember screaming in my head NOOOOO you are not taking me, in this car, anywhere! My boyfriend and the man are civilly discussing why the man wants the keys and in my hysteria I decide that I am getting the hell out of the car, he can take it. The man reaches in takes the keys and says to my boyfriend "I am just putting them on top of the car so you won't follow me." Those words were not registering in my mind. All I could think of was to get out of the car and away from the gun. Huge mistake on my part. You see, the intruder had an accomplice as a lookout and when he saw me open the door the accomplice was at my side, with a gun pointed at my chest. My shaking increased ten fold but my boyfriend was calm and said "Jen just sit down and don't cry, just look at me." I did what my boyfriend said. While, unbelievable, the man who was robbing my boyfriend was cordial and to the point, his accomplice was not. He continued to poke me with the gun and demanded my jewerly. Shaking uncontrollably I was attempting to unclasp the bracelets from my arm. Dear boyfriend finally said don't give them the satisfaction and ripped the bracelets from my arm, kissed me on the cheek and handed them to the accomplice. In turn I did the same with my necklaces knowing that the broken jewerly would not get much in a pawn shop.

And then, it was over. Just like that, they ran, but not without taking my car keys off the roof. My boyfriend was furious but was amazingly calm. So calm and focused that he watched them by sitting in the car using all the rearview mirrors. He saw what car they got into and which direction they were heading. My sobbing did not detour him from his destiny to make the punks pay or at least go to jail. My boyfriend still had his keys in his pocket which held one of my extra car keys. We tailed those men until boyfriend could see the license plate number. We then headed straight for the police station in downtown. We did our duty, filled out all the paperwork, looked at mugshots and drank lots of coffee.

In the 30 minutes that all this occurred I realized that I could have lost him. I could have lost a future that was just sitting there waiting to happen. The gun that was pointed at me did not matter as much as that gun that was pointed at my boyfriend. My boyfriend was strong and calm. My boyfriend told me how much he loved me and said he would have died for me. Died for me....THAT was a redefining moment. Not many women can say they found their hero. I did and I married him.